Upside Down
by EmilieHenderson99
Summary: When Dan's forced to go and live with his older cousin, Phil, in Manchester for the year...his life turns upside down; but is that always a bad thing? Sometimes we all need a little change, don't we?
1. Chapter 1

**I'm so excited for this! This is my first Dan and Phil story on here :) it's going to be a little AU, considering the fact that Phil is Dan's older cousin in this. I'm debating on whether or not I should make it a multichapter or not…I'll leave that up to you guys.**

**Anyways; I hope you enjoy it! **

****Dan's 15 and Phil's 21 in this****

Dan Howell sat in the backseat to his mother's car and glanced out at the October scenery in front of him. Only a small sheet of glass separated him from the forest that rested across the rode…he'd much rather be there; not on his way to some far unknown city. The truth was that, though he'd never admit it, Dan loved art, and those trees would be the perfect inspiration at that moment. Alas, he was trapped in a miniature truck with someone who was too busy babbling on a cellphone to pay attention to him.

"Mum…" Dan finally said out loud, yet she failed to answer.

After what seemed to be an eternity, Mrs. Howell managed to hang up the phone and shove it back into her massive purse, "Sorry about that, Daniel. It was my boss with the travel arrangements."

"Oh. That's okay." He shrugged.

"Did you want to ask me something?"

Dan bit his lip, already being angered by just thinking about how he'd have to spend the rest of his year, "Why do I have to live with Phil?"

"Well…" She took a deep breath, "You know that your father and I have been transferred to India until June and it's just too big of a move for us to bring you with us. I mean…how would you go to school or learn anything? Trust me…staying with Phil will be much better than you tagging along with us—we won't even be home half of the time."

"But why Phil? I barely even know him."

"He's the closest and your father and I trust him as well."

Dan lost interest, knowing that no matter what he tried, he'd still be stuck with Phil. He turned onto his side and face the other window, now having a huge glistening lake to look at. Small droplets of water plopped into the body of water, causing the image to blur. Before he knew it, the window's surface was dripping with rain drops and the sound of a storm had washed over everything. Thunder sounded occasionally along with the pitter-patter on the car's roof making Dan sleepy. He blinked back the exhaustion, yet it didn't work and with that, he was out like a light.

Mrs. Howell made a sharp turn into the parking garage to the apartment building that Phil currently lived in. She turned around to see that Dan was still fast asleep, so she tried to be as silent as possible while gathering up her jacket and then stepping out of the car to greet Phil for the first time in a while. She popped open the trunk to grab Dan's suitcases, when she heard cheering coming from behind her.

"Hii!" A tall guy with jet black hair stood by the car, waving eagerly. He shivered under the red plaid jumper he was wearing, yet he still lingered there, waiting for a response.

"…hello?"

"It's Phil!" He laughed a little bit before hugging his aunt.

"Oh gosh…I didn't even notice! You look so much more different from when you were 10."

"Well, I'd sure hope so." Phil giggled, "Where's Dan?"

"He's sleeping in the car." She chuckled and pointed towards the window, showing Phil the teenage boy snuggled up against the backseat's armrest.

Dan fluttered his eyes open slowly to see a stranger with his face pressed against the glass. He sat up and yawned; it struck him in that moment that he'd have to get up and introduce himself. That was the last thing he felt like doing. He could still feel the thickness in his throat from previously being asleep and his hair was completely frizzy due to being pressed against the car seat.

He practically rolled out of his seat and dragged his sleepy body over to where his mother and cousin stood. All he managed to give was a weak wave to Phil, along with yet another yawn.

"That's it?" Mrs. Howell raised her eyebrow and glared at her son with disappointment.

"Hi Phil." He said with the same level of effort as earlier.

"Hi Dan!" Phil beamed, being a little too peppy for Dan's liking, "I can't wait to show you around my flat! I cleared out your room so you can decorate it any way that you'd like. You're gonna have a blast living here with me, I promise! Oh and school's right down the block so you don't even have to walk that far. And there are a bunch of shops around there so you can hang out with your friends after class. I think they opened a new cinema too. Maybe we can go later…or we can go out to dinner so we can catch up or something-"

Dan cut the energetic foreigner off, "I get it…" He said flatly, "If you don't mind, I'd like to just stay in today…I feel a bit lousy from the car ride and going out is the last thing I want to do."

"Oh that's fine as well. I can always order Chinese and get a movie off of Netflix instead." Phil grinned widely.

Dan just nodded, being to annoyed to say anything else.

**I'll probably add more later on if you guys like the first bit :) thanks for reading!**

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm so glad that you guys like this story :) it's different from my usual writing, so it's nice to see that people are enjoying it just as much as the others! **

**I shall continue this as long as there are readers, because I actually really love the idea! Funny thing is that this was one of those "hmm...might work" kinda plots. It just hit me one night before I went to bed and I was like "that's actually not half bad". Well, my writing idol did always tell me that "greatness can't ever be rushed or forced...it has to flow and come naturally"!**

**Hopefully Chapter Two is good as well! Thanks again for reading as your views, favourites, alerts, and comments mean the world to me :) **

"I'm gonna get going, Daniel." Mrs. Howell pressed a kiss to her son's forehead, handed him his bags, and waved to Phil before climbing back into the car. The two boys watched as the miniature truck backed out from the parking garage and swerved down the street. Phil turned to Dan and grinned yet again; though, the younger boy didn't return the gesture.

"So what kind of stuff do you like?" Phil beamed, still being just as perky as he was a few minutes ago.

Dan shrugged, "Music, sports, video games...I dunno, I like a lot of things."

"Oh, alright. There's a group of guys around your age down the block who all play basketball; maybe you can join them sometime. What sports do you play?"

Dan gulped and thought for a minute, "Um...football and soccer."

Phil narrowed his eyes at the response, glancing at his cousin's fringe then to his skinny jeans and yellow jumper, "Oh, alright. Uhh...what was your team's name?"

Dan could feel his face becoming beat red and his palms growing sweaty. He always somehow managed to get tangled up into a big ball of lies, even if it only started with one tiny fib, "We were the...the...um, Pirates." Oh gosh, he thought to himself, what if Phil looked it up later and found out he wasn't telling the truth. Why did he even say he liked sports in the first place...he flat out hated them! Oh right, he wanted to seem cool, and sadly, to teenagers; or at least where he was from, art and theatre weren't exactly the most "popular" things to do.

"Cool! You'll have to tell me some more later while we eat dinner...but for now, why don't we go inside and I'll show you around." Phil smiled and grabbed one of Dan's bags for him.

Dan nodded meekly and followed the ebony haired adult inside. He was greeted by a pretty open layout for a flat. Dan figured that flats were slightly bigger than apartment, but not quite houses yet. It was pretty nice; not home, but nice. The brunette looked around and put his suitcase onto the couch.

"It's not too big, but it should be fine for two people." Phil added, placing the other case near where Dan put the first one down.

Dan took one last scan of the room before asking, "Where should I unpack my stuff?"

Phil pointed to a door towards the back of the flat, "Right there's your room. There's a bed and some bed sheets...but the rest is yours to decorate in any way that you'd like."

Dan hoisted up his bags again and practically dragged them to his room, tossing them to the bed, "I'll unpack later."

Phil turned to the clock, "We should get dinner before it's really late."

"Good idea." Dan agreed blankly.

Phil took a deep breath and heaved a sigh. He was always the "younger brother" and hoped to finally get a chance to be a role model for someone, alas, Dan obviously wasn't having it.

**Sorry it's shorter...you can blame homework LOL :P**

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hiii**

**I think I'm going to start replying to comments on here like I used to do for my Big Time Rush stories! Thanks a million for reading! **

**RomioneAlways51: Thanks! While writing the dialogue, I read it back in their accents as well haha :)**

**TheAdelaide9: Why thank you! :) so happy you enjoy this even though it isn't what you typically read.**

**Sibuna Kitten: Thank you! I agree, there aren't many fics out there like this. Also, when you wrote "damn you" I imagined Dan saying that after someone mentioned "The Game" in his video with Phil. I'm thrilled you like this, though! Thanks!**

**Lostinparadise7: ****lol :)**

**Guest: Thanks so much for letting me know that! I've been trying to learn some more British slang so it'll make my story more realistic, so thank you, that helps a lot, since sports will play a big role in the next couple of chapters :D I'm glad you like the story as well!**

**Enjoy and feedback is always welcome :)**

"So, any requests for dinner? I'm going to order it now." Phil questioned.

Dan shrugged, letting his tired body melt into the couch, "I'll have the same as whatever you get."

"Okay, are you allergic to anything?"

Dan shook his head, "Unless they put latex into Chinese food."

Phil laughed, "I don't think they do."

"I...wasn't really trying to be funny." Dan replied flatly.

"Oh...sorry." Phil mumbled, pulling out his 'LemonGrab' phone and dialling the nearest restaurant.

Dan zoned out as Phil yammered into the phone. Did this guy know everyone? He said "hello" to at least 7 people on their way up to his flat and now he was apparently friendly with the Chinese Food place as well. Before he could think up any other encounters that Phil had made earlier, the ebony haired adult skipped over to him and grinned widely. Dan scoffed; Phil's head was clearly way up in the clouds.

"Yes?" He snarled.

"I ordered...only thing is that it's really busy so we have to go and pick it up ourselves in a half-hour. Wanna come with me?"

"Not really..."

"Please." Phil flashed a beam.

"Whatever." Dan got up and grabbed his coat, "Is it far? Should we leave now?"

Phil peered at his watch, "Yeah...just in case there is traffic. Everyone's getting back from work around now. It should take around 30 minutes to get there."

The two guys made their way down the lift and into Phil's car. Dan felt slight anxiety rush into his body. Phil obviously didn't seem too...mature, and being in a car with him driving made the brunette worry. He watched closely and attentively while Phil put his key into the car and began to back out of the parking garage. He instantly turned to Dan and noticed something was wrong.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Phil...c-can you keep y-your eyes on the road p-please?"

"I've been driving for years, I'm fine, trust me."

Dan could now feel his palms grow sweaty and his chest tightened with stressed, "Please just pay attention."

"You don't look to good, man." Phil sighed at the boy who was clearly worrying himself sick.

"I'm not the one with the problem!" Dan snapped, "You are! Just keep your eyes on the road!"

"I'll keep my eyes on the road Dan, you can relax." He now felt bad, watching his cousin shiver with anxiety and take in choppy breaths. He had no clue that Dan was so...jumpy. He seemed so laid back earlier.

Dan nodded cautiously, "Thank you."

Phil fixated his deep blue eyes on the road in front of him and thought silently. Would it be too much to ask Dan about why he was so upset by the car ride? He was alarmed by the teen's panicking, but if one thing was certain to Phil, it was that Dan wasn't an open book.

"Why did I scare you so much before?" Phil asked lightly.

Dan turned and face out the window not saying anything.

"You can talk to me, you know that right?"

Dan was put off at first at how serious Phil was acting. For once he didn't seem like a little kid, "I just didn't want you to crash, that's all."

Phil snickered, "Okay, I'll believe that when lions can fly."

"The saying's when pigs can fly..."

"I know. I just really like lions."

"Oh...they're cute too."

"Stop trying to get off topic!" Phil shook his head and refocused himself, "Why were you so worried? I wasn't going to crash, I was driving perfectly fine."

Dan's tone lowered into a near whisper and he blushed with embarrassment, "Sometimes I have panic attacks...but rarely, so don't go thinking I'm some freak or something."

"I wouldn't think you're a freak if you had panic attacks on a regular basis, Dan, there's nothing wrong with that and you shouldn't be ashamed of-"

Dan cut him off, "I know. I'm done talking about it okay?"

"Alright...let's talk about something happy then. Do you really like lions too?" Phil's eyes lit up at the end of his sentence.

"I don't want to talk about lions, Phil."

"Then what _do _you want to talk about?"

"What movie should we get?" Dan questioned.

"Well, you told me you liked video games earlier, so...maybe we can play some of those instead? I've been stuck on a level of Sonic 4 all week." Phil laughed.

"Sounds like a plan." Dan grinned weakly, causing Phil to turn towards him and flash a goofy smile right back at him.

"Eyes on the road, Phil!" Dan shrieked out of nowhere.

"Calm down, calm down...they're on the road."

"J-just making sure." Dan chuckled nervously at how awkward he must've sounded when he yelled at Phil before.

**Lot's of dialogue haha :P hopefully you liked this! **

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't really have much of an Author's Note for this :P also, I'll do the "replies" thing every other chapter, just because there aren't too many reviews at the moment. Thanks a billion for reading! Feedback is always welcome :D**

Phil opened up the door to his flat to let Dan and himself back inside after picking up the food. The brunette took off his jacket and turned to Phil shyly.

"Where should I hang this up?"

Phil chuckled as he tossed his coat to the sofa across from him, "Doesn't matter to me...make yourself at home."

Dan nodded slightly, "Oh, okay. I'll hang it on the door handle, if that's okay."

"It's fine, Dan. This is your home now too."

Dan smiled and looked down at his feet, "Yeah..."

Phil plopped into a seat at the breakfast bar and opened up the container he had put his food into. Dan decided to make himself useful and got two dishes along with napkins and utensils.

"You didn't have to do that..."

"Yes I did, I wasn't just going to expect you to do it for me, I'm old enough to get some plates, Phil."

The ebony haired guy rolled his eyes and laughed, "Technically, I'm you're parent while you're here, so it's my job to set the table."

Dan sat down without responding to Phil's "parent" comment. He wasn't quite sure if he liked the sound of that. Phil dismissed it, knowing that the younger boy was still a little shy. He scooped some food onto Dan's dish and got bottles of water from the refrigerator. The rest of dinner was pretty silent, Dan didn't say a word and Phil wasn't going to force him.

"So are we still up for Sonic later?" He tried.

"Um, yeah." Dan looked up and was startled by the sudden break in silence.

"Have you ever played before?"

Dan nodded.

"Do you like Sonic? It's my favourite game!" Phil beamed.

Dan shrugged, "It's okay. I don't play it too much."

"I'm gonna have to teach you about it then. Maybe we can play Pokémon too! Do you like that?" Phil's eyes lit up, just like they did whenever he was excited about something.

He must've pushed it a little too far, though. Dan stood up and placed his dish into the sink, rinsing it off quickly, "Thanks for dinner. I'm kind of tired, so...if you don't mind, I'm going to head to bed now. I have school tomorrow anyways."

"Oh, are you sure?" Phil glanced at his watch, "It's only 9."

"I'm sure."

And with that the brunette headed for his room to get changed into pajamas. He tore through his bags, looking for his plaid pants and "Game Of Thrones" shirt, but no matter how much he shifted his bags around, they were nowhere in sight. He pushed it off, though, figuring that he could just wear something else that was comfortable to bed.

"Shit." He mumbled to himself when all that was in his bags were skinny jeans, sweaters, and some khaki shorts.

He made the walk of shame to Phil's room, his cheeks being blushed far more than they usually were. He emerged into a dark room and heard the "Star Trek" theme playing in the background. Phil laid in bed, snuggled under a massive pile of blankets.

"Everything alright?" He asked.

"Um...c-can I borrow pajamas? I-I forgot m-mine. I-I'm s-sorry." He stuttered.

Phil pointed to the wardrobe across the room, "Take anything that you need, and no need to apologise." He grinned.

"Uh...a-and, can I...maybe...um...watch some Star Trek with you too? Ya know, before I get changed and go to bed and all..."

"Is that even a question?" Phil beamed with pure excitement. His blue eyes grew wide again and he felt like he was finally doing something right. Him and Dan were bonding...they were actually getting on pretty well.

Dan meekly made his way to the front of Phil's bed and sat on the ground, leaning his back against it. All that Phil could see was the top of Dan's fringe at the end of his bed, but that didn't matter. What was important, though, was how things weren't so tense anymore...at least for him they weren't. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

**Hope you liked this!**

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ahhh! So I'm in like the BEST mood EVER today! **

**I absolutely hate P.E. and my teacher is such an airhead, so sometimes I'll check my Twitter on my phone before the bell rings in that class. Today, just out of nowhere, I decide "hey, let me tweet Phil and congratulate him for winning the Golden Headphone Awards with Dan" even though I tweeted it a bunch of times the day before. Phil wasn't even online and he hadn't tweeted anything in the past 12hrs, yet I sent the tweet anyways.**

**I checked my phone during Study Hall, as I usually do, and naturally I go onto Twitter first. My "mentions" were highlighted, but I figured that someone just retweeted my tweets...but nope; instead I see that Phil replied to me! I literally started to flip out and everyone was staring at me. To make it even more awkward, when my friend Sam asked me what was going on, I started crying before I could tell her about the tweet. **

**I didn't even know what to do with myself; all I could do was freak out like a total fangirl and then the rest of the day I sat in all of my classes with a stupid grin on my face LOL :P I still feel butterflies in my stomach...gosh, I just love Phil so muuuuch :D but I mean, who doesn't? He's by far the most adorable person ever :)**

**REPLIES:**

** Lostinparadise7: Awwh thanks! I liked those lines too :) and his stutter's super cute hehe :D hopefully he'll warm up to Phil soon ;P**

** RomioneAlways51: I couldn't agree more :) **

**Sasaphrinascream: Hehehe :) **

**Due to post-Phil-tweeting happiness, I'll try to make this chapter as long as possible :) it's like 11 where I live, but I'm not that tired anyways lolol! Enjoy and feedback is the best :D**

"What happened?" Dan sat up and looked around groggily, rubbing his eyes. He peered down at his jeans and jumper. Hadn't he changed and went to bed right after dinner the night before?

"You fell asleep in here after coming in to borrow pajamas." Phil giggled, sitting by his mirror, straightening his fringe.

"Oh..." Dan stood up, "Right."

"You have about 25 minutes to get ready before you'll have to leave for school." Phil added, "Need anything else, or are you okay on your own?"

"I'm fine." Dan assured, yawning as he left Phil's room and went to retrieve something new to wear for his first day at the new school. Butterflies filled his stomach when he began to think of how nerve-wracking it'd be when everyone noticed he was the new kid. Dan didn't like sticking out and if it were up to him, he'd be fine with just blending in with the lockers for the rest of the year.

The teen picked out his favourite black skinny jeans and a red sweater to match it. Getting dressed was quick for him, which worked out well, since he liked to take his time on his hair anyways. Luckily, he remembered his flattening iron and didn't have to embarrass himself again like the night before with the pajamas.

"Ew." Dan mumbled under his breath, looking at his 'hobbit hair' in the reflection to the big bathroom's mirror.

He lifted a shaky hand to pick up a curl and straighten it completely. He laughed a little under his breath in a disappointed tone; almost as if he were to be mocking himself. Steam and heat rose from his hair as he watch his entire look transform. That wasn't him...he didn't like his hair in front of his eyes, or his face covered, yet he was too afraid to stand out and be who he was. Blending in was better than being Dan Howell, in his mind; especially when he wasn't too proud of Dan Howell in the first place.

"If you don't want to walk, I can drive you." Phil offered.

Dan snickered and made his way over to Phil, "I'm going to try and avoid getting into cars with you from now on."

"Oh come on, I wasn't _that_ bad." Phil rolled his eyes.

"Yes you were!" Dan called back with the first real and genuine smile to be shown since he arrived.

Phil bit his lip and played with the hem of his shirt embarrassedly, "Okay, maybe I did go up the curb, but that was one time..."

"Yeah, one for one...no thanks, I'll walk."

"What if it starts raining?"

"I'm sure you have an umbrella in here." Dan responded.

Phil smirked, "Yeah, but I wouldn't give it to you."

"Jerk." Dan nudged Phil's shoulder and chuckled.

Now this was the Dan that Phil expected to see. He liked this. They actually were having fun; I mean sure Dan was bashing him, but it was funny...and besides, that was his real personality. Phil knew that in the end, no matter how snide he got, Dan still always meant well. The ebony haired man beamed and opened the door.

"Have fun getting soaking wet."

"It's not even raining out yet." Dan answered.

"Yeah, but it's Manchester, we all know it'll rain eventually."

Dan nodded, "You have a point there."

Phil smiled, "See you after school, Dan, have a good first day."

"I'll try." Dan felt the nervousness sink right back in.

For comfort, Dan gripped onto his messenger bag's strap tightly as he took the lift down into the lobby and then proceeded to the school. He used street signs and followed other masses of teens to find his way around and within the matter of seconds he was standing right in front of a humungous building. When Phil said that they lived close to school, he sure wasn't kidding. Groups of your typical "high-school" students flooded in through the doors with big heavy backpacks hanging from their arms. Some laughed and talked, while others, like himself, just tried to sneak past the crowd.

Dan could feel other people shoving him, which was the worst thing ever. He liked his personal space and almost everyone was invading it. To make matters even more annoying, students would clearly bump into him, yet they'd give him a bad look as if he did something. Others just kept walking as if he wasn't even there. After the group of teenagers condensed, Dan could still feel someone pushing him. A wave of giggled always followed after. The brunette tried to turn around as calmly as possible.

"Can you stop that?"

The guy behind him gave a stupid smile and shoved Dan again, causing the "peanut gallery" to laugh their heads off.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes and continued walking. "_Immature jackasses." _He thought to himself, "_Grow the fuck up." _

If there was anything Dan hated more than stupid teenagers, it had to be annoying adults. He made his way to the main office and sat down, waiting to speak with the guidance counselor about his classes and locker number. A chubby older women sat at the front desk and made phone calls as he waited. The busyness in the office made Dan feel more worried and unsettled than before, causing him to look down at his feet nervously and take an occasional deep breath.

"Don't be so tense, sweetie." The lady finally said, "I can assure you that you'll love it here."

Dan looked up, being startled by someone talking to him, "Oh...thanks." He laughed with embarrassment, "I-I really h-hope I do. I wasn't exactly too fond of my old school."

She gave a smile that looked like one his Gran would give before looking back down to her paperwork and then up at him for the second time. Her eyes narrowed for a second before she lifted the folder of papers and walked over to his side.

"I'm not sure where the guidance counselor is, but you're Daniel Lester, right?"

He hesitated before nodding; oh right...Phil was his legal guardian now.

She handed him the stack, "Here, why don't get going-it's always a pain when you're late to a class and need to catch up."

"Thanks." He grinned and took out the first slip to see that his locker was Number 18. Hopefully it'd be close to the office.

To his lucky, 18 was right around the corner. He didn't have much to put in his locker at the moment aside from books and his jacket. He kept his messenger bag with him as he went to find his homeroom class. He shoved the folder with paperwork into his bag carelessly, not wanting to bother with it at the moment. He'd show Phil later...they must've just been things like medical records and other stuff along that line. Nothing too big.

Dan turned the cold brass doorknob to his 1st period/homeroom Science class and let himself in quietly. A short and plump man with a mustache and suspenders waddled over to him and threw his stubby arms into the air cheerfully.

"Why hello! You must be Daniel, the new student!"

Dan blushed when everyone's attention turned to him, "Yeah, I'm Dan. Nice to meet you, sir."

He held out his hand to shake the teachers, it being force of habit to him when it came to meeting new adults. He must've looked like a total dork, because a few people sitting behind him snickered.

"Call me Mr. Jenkinson, please." He shook back.

Dan nodded.

"You can go and sit next to Zachery in the back." He pointed to the only empty seat.

Dan obeyed and made his way to the new seat. Some students laughed as he walked past and he even heard someone mumbled under their breath, "loser" but it didn't faze him...he was all too use to it anyways.

"What, you think you're some posh kid, aye?" Zach laughed.

"Uh...no."

"What's with the stupid little haircut, mate?" He flicked Dan's hair and chuckled again.

"Knock it off, seriously, you're not funny." Dan answered flatly while fixing his fringe.

Dan tried to pay attention, ignore Zach, and take notes while Mr. Jenkinson copied them to the chalkboard, but every few minutes, he would start up again with his antics. He'd nudge Dan's notebook or his chair or whisper a mean remark on how he looked.

"You're ugly..."

"...a loser..."

"...and you'll never make any friends here because they'll all hate you..."

"...worthless..."

"...stupid..."

Zach laughed a bit and paused before saying, "Emo scum" right to Dan's face.

The brunette had enough of it. He stood up and turned towards Zach, slamming his hands down on the table, "Can you stop!?" He yelled.

The class went silent and looked to the back of the room where Dan stood guiltily.

"Mr. Howell!" The teacher gasped, "That's not the way to act in a classroom! Go to the office immediately!"

Being too awkward and scared to say anything, Dan grabbed his bag and shuffled his way out of the classroom, leaving Zach to play the "innocent-one" card to the rest of the class.

"Oh, he was so mean to me! I thought I'd cry." Dan could imagine Zach fibbing, and just the thought made him want to gag.

The walk to the office wasn't too bad as he knew the nice older women was there and would listen to him when he said that Zach started this whole thing. The office was empty, though. All but a tall lanky women rested in the room. She wore pointed glasses and a deep red blouse that made her look even more intimidating than before.

"Where's the lady who was here before?" Dan asked.

"She left to fax something. What do you need...peasant?" She glared at Dan as if he were from a foreign planet.

"Um...I...r-rose m-my voice i-in cl-class a-and..." He couldn't think straight. His mind was fogging up with pure fear. What was she going to do to him. He'd surely be punished and it made him feel sick to his stomach. Or what if she called Phil? The last thing he wanted was to drive the only person who didn't dislike him even farther away. Or what if Phil lost faith in him? Or wasn't proud with him any longer. Too much fear settled in and Dan needed to sit down as if he didn't, he'd surly would've passed out right in front of the lady.

"Speak up!" She snapped.

"I yelled in class and the teacher sent me here." Dan managed to spit out as he sat on the seat near her desk apprehensively.

"I'm going to need to call your parent; phone number please?"

Dan gulped, "I-I don't know." Phil had never given him a number.

"You don't know your own mother or father's phone number?" She scoffed, "Last name? I'll look it up in the book."

"Lester." He bit his lip to prevent from whimpering with worry.

She held up a finger to signal for him to be silent while she called Phil. Dan couldn't make out what they were saying, but the teacher didn't seem very happy. The thought of Phil being mad at him made him feel so guilty and terrible on the insides. Phil liked him and that was a first...people didn't just "like" Dan. And now, the first to be like that, would be gone within the matter of minutes. The brunette felt more alone than anything right then and there. He wasn't too sure of Phil and he certainly wasn't ready to call him family, but he also didn't want to lose his trust either.

"You've been suspended for the rest of the day. You're..." She paused, "...guardian will pick you up soon."

Dan nodded with shame and waited for Phil to arrive, which would be quick, considering how close they were to the school from the flat.

As he expected, Phil burst through the doors with an upset look on his face minutes later.

"Only an hour here and you're already in trouble." Phil sighed and turned to the lady who sat at the desk, "I apologise for his behavior."

"I didn't even do anything!" Dan finally spoke up, "I can't believe you're mad at me for yelling but won't do a thing about Zach harassing me!"

"We have no proof." The woman stuck up her nose to Dan and rolled her eyes, "Get going, boy. And think twice before acting up next time."

"Come on." Phil groaned under his breath, leading Dan back to the car.

"What's wrong with you?" Phil asked, once they were inside the vehicle, "Do you know how embarrassed I was to have to came and pick you up on the first day for disrupting class?"

"But-"

Phil cut him off, "I know you hate me and you hate it here but you can't go around just-"

This time Phil was interrupted with a wave of tears. Dan sat there in the passenger seat balling his eyes out and choking over his sobs. Within the matter of seconds, Phil's angry eyes softened and so did his heart. He felt terrible.

**Ooh...cliffhanger! I'll try to update first thing tomorrow morning as I'm staying home from school :D hopefully you like that! And thank you so much for reading!**

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hii! Might be a little shorter than yesterday as I'm exhausted at the moment. Enjoy :)**

"Oh my gosh, Dan..." Phil gasped, "Are you okay? I'm so sorry for yelling. I really am, I promise."

Dan instantly felt embarrassed for breaking down like that. All of the emotions from earlier had just built up to the boiling point and he couldn't help it. Plus, being picked on wasn't new to him and though it happened a lot, the sadness from afterwards never suppressed. Dan took the hem of his shirt and wiped his eyes before nodding, "I-I'm fine, Phil. It's okay. I just got a little worked up over the woman in the office yelling so much."

Phil sighed a bit, knowing that something was up and that the lady from school wasn't the only thing bugging his younger cousin, "Well if you wanna tal-"

"I know." Dan cut him off. The brunette looked at his surroundings...it didn't look like the route they took to get back to the flat the other night, "Where are we going? You're not lost are you? I knew I shouldn't have gotten in a car with you. I should've just walked home or something..."

"I'm not lost." Phil chuckled, "We're going to the park."

"Huh?"

"You seem so stressed out...way to stressed out, actually. It's not healthy. You need to just chill for a bit and going to the park always helps me to relax." Phil explained in a sincere tone. Dan felt a weight lift from his chest; at least Phil didn't hate him like he feared the ebony haired adult would've.

"Why do you care?" Dan scoffed.

"You're my baby cousin, Dan, why wouldn't I care?" Phil rolled his eyes.

"I'm not a baby." Dan called back in a whiny tone.

"With that voice, you sure do sound like one." Phil giggled.

Dan let his whole world freeze. For the first time in his life, he felt at ease; like he could breathe again. There wasn't a single worry on his mind and he was able to smile back at Phil confidently...it wasn't fake, he was truly happy in that moment. There was something about that guy that just made people feel good about themselves and it was radiating over onto Dan.

"The park sounds fun." He grinned.

"Ooh yay!" Phil beamed, his blue eyes lighting up and glistening from the sunlight outside the car windows.

"You're such a dork." Dan snickered at the girly squeal that Phil gave.

"Yeah and so are you!" Phil joked.

"Really? Name one thing that makes me dork." Dan replied.

"You wear superman pajamas." Phil smiled brightly and proudly at his comeback.

"They're your superman pajamas, Phil!"

"Oh...right..." He laughed.

Dan peered out the window to see a big lake that was surrounded by trees. Cherry blossoms scattered throughout the area as well as berry bushes and pine trees.

"We're here!" Phil parked the car and smiled widely at the scenery.

"It's so beautiful." Dan continued to stare at the body of water that glittered from the beams and rays of sun that shone into it. The bright pink flowered fluttered down from the trees and landed right onto the surface of the lake, skimming on the clear water.

Phil got out from the car and began to run towards the walking path that lead to the forest. Dan got out shortly after and rolled his eyes jokingly as he watched his 21-year-old cousin dash over to the park like a little kid would typically do.

"Wait up!" Dan yelled, chasing after him.

"Slowpoke!" Phil chuckled.

"Seriously, Phil?!" Dan sneered at the childlike remark.

"Bet'cha can't catch me!" Phil squealed.

"Alright, no...I'm not doing this." Dan slowed down and panted slightly. There was no way he was going to just lose his dignity and chase some "6'ft tall man-child" **(Lost At The Mall, anyone? Lol) **around the playground like it was nothing.

Phil giggled and made a full stop, turning towards Dan, "You're just scared that you won't be able to run as fast as me."

"No...I just don't feel like being stared at. You're embarrassing yourself so much right now." Dan said flatly.

Phil just stuck his tongue out at Dan and waited for the brunette to catch up to him, "What do you wanna do first? We could go on the swings or the slide-"

Dan interrupted with a laugh, "Will we even fit on the slide?" He did have to admit that it was nice having a companion who was as tall as he was. It sucked being surrounded by shorter people all the time like he usually was.

Phil chuckled, "Okay, so swings it is."

**I really liked this chapter...I thought it was cute hehehe. Thanks for reading! Now, I'm off to bed! I do love seeing reviews when I wake up, though, lol just a reminder ;)**

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ahh, I've actually begun to watch Pokémon with my brother and it's really good! I used to watch it when I was younger and now it's different, but it's still great! Pikachu is so adorable, I can't even :) hehehe **

**REPLIES**

**Lostinparadise7: Believe it or not you can get suspended at my school for doing that! It happened to a friend of mine last week and he had to leave for the rest of the day. It probably didn't help that we had a strict substitute, though haha :P that's funny about the scissors! And thank you so much, I'm glad you found it cute :D**

**the-perks-of-being-a-youtuber: Thanks! So happy you like reading this :D you have a cute screen-name, by the way! :)**

Dan flicked the light to the flat on and tossed his jacket onto the door handle before turning to Phil and smiling brightly, "I had a lot of fun today."

"I'm glad you did." Phil replied, "So did I!"

Dan looked down at his feet shyly, "Thanks..." He added meekly.

"Huh?" Phil questioned, not hearing what the younger boy had said.

"Thanks for today. I know I'm annoying and I'm a worry-wart, but this really helped. I could clear my head and have some fun for a change."

"No need to thank me, I had a blast and if you're happy, then so am I!" Phil beamed.

Dan just nodded and grinned, "I'm gonna get ready for bed. Can I still borrow your pajamas? I-I'm sorry..."

Phil laughed, "You can keep them; they were a little big on me anyways."

"Thanks. I'm gonna go and get into them...I fell asleep in my jeans and jumper last name." He chucked a bit at the end of what he said, "This should be more comfortable."

The brunette grabbed the pajamas from his bed and went into the bathroom to put them on. He took what he wore that day and folded it, putting back into his suitcase. To prevent rushing around the next morning, Dan took out some new clothes for school, before getting into the pajamas Phil was going to let him use. He pulled the shirt over his head and then the pants as well, letting the soft and fuzzy fabric swallow his small body up. He laughed a little bit to himself...if they were big on Phil, then of course they'd be huge on him, considering the fact he was only 15 and Phil was 21 already. He glanced in the mirror and giggled at how he looked. The humidity from being outside had slowly made his hair curl back up and now he was wearing clothes that drooped way past his hands and feet.

Dan continued to laugh as he walked back over to where Phil was, "Hi!" He jumped out behind Phil and waved his arms in front of the ebony haired guy.

"What happened to your hands?" Phil joked.

Dan shook them, allowing the sleeves to slide up his arms, "These pajamas are really cozy, thanks." He smiled.

"They look it!" Phil cheered.

Dan kept giggling in an adorable tone as he retired to his bedroom, he had never felt so at ease before in his life; maybe when he was little, but all it took was one bad experience during his first day of preschool to totally ruin that. Being nice and giggly was _obviously _wrong and _should _be punished. If he ever tried to go to school in oversized sweaters, with curly hair, like he wanted to, he'd surely get beat up for it...gosh, and add some child-like laughter; he didn't even want to think about what'd happen if he tried that. It wouldn't end pretty, that's definite.

"Night!" Dan called out, shutting the door behind him.

"Sleep tight, see you tomorrow!" Phil replied, sitting down at the kitchen table and taking out a book to read. He grabbed his glasses and then felt a slight draft circulate through the flat. Winter was obviously around the corner and Phil didn't mind at all...he loved the chilly weather; there was nothing more cozy than snuggling up on the couch in a fuzzy jumper with a good read, in his opinion.

Phil got up to retrieve the hoodie he got while at University and then made his way to the sofa were he continued his reading, to the point where he was so tired, his eyes were drooping. Before he knew it, he had dropped the book to the floor and was out like a light. A smile formed on his sleepy face as he dreamt of lions and other little things that made him happy.

Meanwhile Dan felt as if he were to be drowning in his bed sheets. He mind soared from thought to thought, none of them being joyous or smile-worthy:

_"Get out!" Phil yells to me and I flinch back with worry. Sweat dripping down from my nervous face, "I hate you, Dan!"_

_"I'm-I'm sorry...I-I..." I try to choke out, but it's no use because Phil leaves beforeI can. I fall to the ground and hear the echoes of my whimpers flow through an empty room, "P-Please come back!"_

Dan turned onto his other side and tried to suck in a strangled breath, but his chest begun to tighten instead. He coughed anxiously and continued to toss and turn before being pulled back into an endless black-hole of unwanted dreams:

_"Loser!" A familiar face pushes me into the gym room lockers, "You made us lose the bloody game! Why can't you do anything right?" _

_"I'm sorry, I don't play sports, I...I never would've done that intentionally, I swear!" I yell out, hoping the others will believe me._

_"Do us ALL a favor and leave; don't come back either! Be lucky that you're moving, because if you stayed here, I'd make your life miserable with every chance I get." He screams into my face, making me burst into tears._

_Everyone else laughs and get in their one last punch on me. I sit on the bench, hugging my gym bag to my chest; I've never been so stressed before in my life. The worry settles in and a pit feeling sinks into my stomach. Yes, I'm leaving soon, but I still have a whole 2 weeks ahead of me. I didn't know what I was going to do and the tears just keep spilling from the corner of my eyes. I try to hide my sobs by placing a palm to my mouth; no one can know...if they found out, the guys would only hurt me even more. _

_I stand up and rush out of the locker room, dropping everything else behind me. I push past people in the hallways, trying to make it to bathroom. My bare hands slam the stall door open and I let my weak knees buckle in front of the toilet, vomiting violently. I sob and feel lonely; no one was around to help me and I was so scared. But even if anyone was around, they wouldn't care anyways...and that was the worst feeling in the world. _

Dan sat up sharply and looked around the room, breathing heavily and panting with fear. The first dream was terrifying, but the second was even worse...it felt all so real; and that's because it was.

**I felt like added some drama; hopefully you guys liked it! And I also hope you like Phan fluff, because I can predict that'll follow shortly after this chapter :)**

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sadly, I haven't been in the best of moods today but I'm still going to try my best to make this fluffy like I planned it to be! I hope you enjoy. Reviews are nice; plus I've baked some virtual cookies that I'd love to share with my readers lol :)**

Dan rolled out of his bed, body shaking and eyes welling up with tears. He stammered across the room, trying his best to not bump into anything in the dark. Half of his mind was urgent to get to Phil and to get some comfort, but the other part was completely embarrassed for getting so worked up over a nightmare.

"Phil?" He whispered, pushing the bedroom door open, "Phil, are you awake?"

No answer, and that's when the panic settled in. What if it wasn't a dream and Phil had really left him, "Oh...what have I done?" He cried to himself.

"Phil!" He yelled a little louder, hoping that the man just hadn't heard him...maybe he was there after all and Dan was just getting all worked up over nothing.

The brunette flicked the light switch on to see a messy, but empty bed. He turned on his heels and tip-toed out of the bedroom, being slightly freaked out. It felt so much like a nightmare and now it was true? His head spun with questions that he'd rather just dismissed, but instead he let them dwell and eat away at his mind.

Dan saw a lump under a blanket that was laying on the couch. He crossed his fingers and hoped to see Phil there. He slowly unraveled the sheets to see his ebony haired cousin, causing a huge weight to lift from his worried chest.

"Phil?" He asked softly and anxiously.

"...mm, yeah?" He mumbled, his voice being thick from sleep.

Dan just sat by the edge of the sofa, not saying a peep. He glanced over at Phil for a moment and then turned away. Just being near the other boy made him feel safer; there was no need to speak any longer.

"What's up? Is it morning already?" Phil sat up and rubbed his eyes.

Dan shook his head.

"Then why'd you wake me?" He laughed a bit, "and aren't you tired? it's..." he pressed the home-button to his phone, "3AM, Dan. What's going on?"

"I...um..." Dan stuttered and blushed, "Promise to not laugh?"

"Pinky promise." Phil beamed, holding out a sleepy hand for Dan to interlock with his.

"I had a nightmare, okay." He finally blurted out as if he were ashamed in himself.

"Oh Dan." Phil sighed, being sorry for the younger teen and also feeling bad that he was so mortified by it, "Do you want to talk about it? Will that help?"

"N-no, I...uh...I-I don't r-really want to think about it."

"That's fine. Anything I can do to help, though?"

"Stay with me, please." Dan said in the tiniest voice ever, making Phil listen carefully and attentively to each and every word.

"Sure." His tone softened as he took a deep breath.

He noticed that Dan was shivering under his oversized pajamas, so he opened up the blankets and signaled from Dan to take the other end so he wouldn't be so cold. Both boys sat together, but neither came to close to the other one. Dan wasn't ready for that and Phil wasn't going to push it. As much as the black haired boy wanted to hug his younger cousin's sadness and fear away, he knew that Dan wouldn't appreciate it. It only took a matter of hours before Phil began to look at Dan like a little brother, but he knew that it'd take longer the other way around.

Phil was wrong, though, because Dan knew the second that Phil and him began to talk during that first car ride, that this boy would be the only one he had there for him. No matter how much he liked to look past it or ignore it, he needed Phil...without him, he'd wither away. He'd be a victim of his own emotions and thoughts. Dan looked at the man one last time before resting his head onto his shoulder and allowing Phil to wrap his arms around him. No one said a word, but actions were louder than anything that could've been spoken.

Dan hated to feel choked up, but it was hard to not be like that. For the first time in his life he felt like this "hug" was true. Phil meant it, it was like a promise to always be there for each other no matter what. It was assuring and meaningful. Dan could finally feel like he had a home. No, not four big walls surrounding him or doors or furniture, not a home like that, but a home in Phil's arms. It was special, their bond; close like brothers but considerate like friends.

Dan sniffled and lifted a hand to wipe away a tear, but Phil beat him to it, bringing his thumb to the brunette's cocoa brown eyes and swiping them away softly, "Shh...I promise things will be okay, and if you want to talk, I'm here."

"It was stupid." Dan shook his head, "I should be over it by now, yet it still bothers me daily."

"I know you don't think it will, but talk is going to help, Dan." Phil said, "Keeping things bottled up is never healthy."

"I used to be bullied a lot at my old school." Dan sighed being more embarrassed and ashamed than he ever had been, "I guess the whole thing that happened in school today caused some bad memories to come back up."

"Well, if anything else happens, tell me right away and I'll fix it...if not, I'll pull you from school." Phil replied firmly, "Bullying is wrong and I've seen it all my life; it breaks my heart...no one deserves that."

"H-have you ever been bullied?" Dan asked.

Phil shrugged, "I was always the outcast without many friends, but I never was really bullied. My friend from University was, though." He paused and took a deep breath, "He passed away because of it and I was devastated..."

"I'm so sorry." Dan felt bad now as well, seeing Phil so upset all of a sudden.

"I was to...but after a while, I learned that he wouldn't want me to be sad and things got better from there. I still miss him so much, though, I wish there was something I could've done."

Dan was at a loss for words, being unsure of what to say to make things better. Instead, he pulled Phil back into a comforting embrace.

Phil giggled a little bit, "For someone so distant, you sure do love hugs."

"I'm not distant." Dan insisted, "I just take...um...some getting used to."

"Right." Phil rolled his eyes.

"Shut up!" Dan joked, nudging Phil's shoulder.

"I'll shut up when you agree with me. You were really distant these past few days, it's obvious!"

"Never!" Dan laughed.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you..." Phil snickered.

"Really now? Why is that?"

"You'll get attacked."

"By who?" Dan scoffed.

Phil didn't say anything for a moment,"...the tickle monster!" He yelled out.

"No, Phil!" Dan screamed, "I'm really ticklish, please don't!"

"To late!" Phil leaned over and began to tickle Dan, causing the brunette boy to kick and laugh uncontrollably. Dan turned over and tried to escape, but due to all of the giggles and squirming, he hit Phil right in the face.

"Ah!" Phil squealed and jumped back, "That hurt, Dan." He pouted.

"Well that's what you get for tickling me." Dan stuck his tongue out at the older boy.

"Fair enough, let's call it even." Phil smiled.

"Deal!" Dan nodded happily.

Phil chuckled before glancing at the time again, "You better get back to bed so you're not exhausted tomorrow."

Dan yawned, having perfect timing, "Alright..."

He got up and began to walk off, dragging his sleepy body back to his room. Before he opened the door up, he turned back to Phil and grinned softly, "Thanks...you're the first person I've told about the bullying and it really helped to talk about it."

"No need to thank me, Dan. You're like my little brother and I care to much to let you suffer like that. Please don't think I'm kissing up either; I mean this from my heart."

"I know. I mean it when I say you're the best big brother ever, too." Dan added with a small smile.

"There we have it then. Forget cousins, we're brothers now, Dan. Level up! Woohoo!" He giggled.

Dan laughed back at the geeky terms Phil had used, "Sounds like a plan."

**Hopefully you liked that :) thanks a billllion for reading! And now I'm off to watch some Pokémon lolol :) see you in the next chapter. Also, if you ever have any suggestions for further chapters, feel free to let me know, I'm open to pretty much anything!**

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for all the reads/reviews/favs/alerts, etc :D here is an update!**

"P-Phil..." Dan finally spoke up before leaving for his room completely.

"Yeah?"

"Can you...um...maybe stay in here with me...on the rocking chair or something?" Dan mumbled, being too embarrassed to look Phil in the eyes, "I-I'm just scared I'll have another nightmare and...um...someone being in there with me...um...just makes me feel safer..."

Phil laughed and sighed, "Oh Dan, please stop being so hard on yourself...of course I'll stay with you."

Dan let a small smile play on his lips as he nodded and headed for his bed, "Thank you."

Phil got up happily and brought the blankets with him. He watched as Dan tucked himself into his bed and snuggled under the large quilt. The ebony-haired man tossed the sheets onto the rocking chair and then sat on top of them, letting the long edges wrap around his arms.

"Hey, Dan...look." Phil had to stifle a giggle, "I'm moth man!"

Dan rolled his eyes, "Is moth man here to protect me from the nightmares?"

"Of course! It's his duty!" Phil said in his most powerful and heroic tone.

Dan shook his head and chuckled, "Good night, Phil."

"But I'm awake now and I can't sleep..."

"Just close your eyes and try to go to bed." Dan suggested, turning over so his back would face Phil.

The older boy just looked around the room and tried to pass time, he didn't feel the slightest bit tired any longer due to his nap and being woken up. He kept quiet, though, respecting the fact that Dan needed his rest. Phil finally decided to try and close his big blue eyes in attempt to sleep again, but once he did, he was interrupted by a tiny voice from across the room. He sat back up and for the second time now, he was wide awake.

"Phil?" Dan whimpered, "I'm scared..."

Then it hit Phil like a lightning bolt. He didn't answer the brunette, instead he stood up and rushed to his bedroom, letting his mismatched socks scuff across the wooden floor. He put his hands out to keep balance, yet it failed to work, causing him to slip nearly three times. He dug past the clothes in his wardrobe, pulling t-shirts and jeans out, carelessly tossing them to the other side of the room. Finally he felt his hand press against a little ball of fluff, so he pulled it and beamed when he saw what it was. Perfect.

"Hey." Phil entered the room again to see a shivering Dan sat up on his bed.

"Yup?"

"Here..." Phil handed Dan the item and smiled softly, "I used to love Winnie the Pooh and I kept this stuffed animal from when I was younger...I thought you'd like it. It used to keep my nightmares away..."

Dan hugged it to his chest instantly, seeking comfort, "I loved Pooh too, heck, I still love him now. Thank you, Phil."

Phil awwh'ed, "That's adorable, Dan!"

"Don't tell anyone!" Dan warned, nuzzling the stuffed animal, "...um, this really does help, though."

"I'm glad, and your secret's safe with me, buddy." He assured, sitting on the edge of his new little brother's bed, "Now, I want you to close your eyes and think about something that makes you happy..."

"Alrighty...I did, what next?"

"Promise me you'll dream about that instead of anything bad."

"That's an easy order." Dan grinned into Pooh's fuzzy stomach.

"Really why?"

"I'll dream of you singing me a lullaby." Dan smirked, obviously hoping Phil would get the hint and sing to him.

"Gosh, Dan! I can't sing for my life."

"Please?" He pleaded with big round puppy-dog eyes.

Phil stood up and looked down at the floor as he made his way back to the rocking chair. On his way he sung softly "Jigglypuff" over and over again in the most adorable voice ever. Dan beamed and got cozy under the blankets again.

"Night Dan..." Phil glanced over at the boy, "...Dan?"

But all that he got in response were a couple of snores.

"For a tough guy, he sure does like to be coddled." Phil laughed to himself before snuggling back up and falling asleep as well.

**Hehehe now that was the adorable I was aiming for! I hope you guys liked it as much as I did :) **

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi! Gosh, I feel like I've deserted this fanfic! Well...I'm back :)**

**Also, if you haven't already seen it, I've uploaded a new story called "Deja Vu!" It's completely different from my typically writing, but I think it's coming together pretty well, so it'd be awesome if you checked it out and gave me some feedback :)**

**Well...I hope you enjoy this next part! :D**

"Rise and shine...time to get ready for school" Phil shook Dan's shoulder lightly and began to open the curtains to let in some sun light.

Dan groaned and rolled over, putting a hand in front of his eyes due to how bright the room looked to his sleepy eyes, "Do I have to get up?" He whimpered, snuggling against Pooh and bringing the blankets back up to his shoulders.

Phil wanted to let Dan stay home so badly, but felt like he'd be a bad 'father' if he didn't. Needless to say, he was loving the whole parent role, as he was always the youngest in his family.

The ebony-haired man put on his most adult-like voice and turned back to Dan, "I'm afraid so..."

Dan sat up and felt as his body and mind began to wake up. He looked to his arms that were wrapped around a stuffed animal and then down to his oversized pajamas. His face instantly became beat red, so he tossed the plushie to the side.

"What am I wearing?" Dan asked.

"My pajamas, silly." Phil giggled, "You forgot yours, remember?"

"I look ridiculous! And why do I have this dumb toy?" He stood up angrily and headed for the wardrobe mirror across his room, brushing his curly hair out from in front of his eyes.

"You couldn't sleep without getting scared, so I gave it to you; you even made me sing you a lullaby. It was pretty adorable." Phil smiled and nodded, not understanding why Dan was getting so worked up over such small things.

Tears began to leak from the brunette's eyes, but they weren't sad tears, they were from frustration and disappointment, "I made you do that?" His voice got higher with worry.

"Yeah, but I didn't mind." Phil shrugged, following Dan over to the mirror and looking at their reflection that shimmered on the glass.

"I'm really sorry, Phil!" Dan called out, taking a few steps back and putting his arm out for balance. For some reason the room now appeared to be spinning to him and everything got blurry, "...P-Phil" Dan leaned up against the bed and slid down against it into the fetal position, burying his head into his knees.

"What's wrong?" Phil rushed over to his side and kneeled down next to the younger boy.

Dan let out a strangled cough, "I-I'm really sorry...I-I must've kept y-you up so l-late, y-you must be ex-exhau-" Dan took a deep breath, loosing air.

"Hey, hey..." Phil placed a hand to Dan's shoulder, "Take it easy, you're...um...I-I don't know...you're all out of breath."

"Y-You probably hate me." Dan sobbed, ignoring Phil.

"Dan...?" Phil tried, but he got no response, it was like Dan couldn't hear him. He wasn't acting himself.

"I'm...I-I..." Dan struggled to put words together, "Y-you're the-the only p-person I t-trust and f-feel safe a-around b-but...n-now I-I'm going to lose y-you." Dan cried feeling incredibly worried. What scared Phil the most was how the boy looked so serious about what he was saying.

The brunette then instantly shrugged Phil's hand off of him and stood up, looking around urgently and fearfully. It was like he was trying to escape. He made it to the door before hunching over and panting, being so out of breath and unable to curb his emotions. Phil cautiously walked over to him and directed Dan to the bed, where he sat down with wide eyes that continued to dart around the room. Phil began to notice blotches of red forming on his face and hands. It worried him as he had no clue what was going on to his younger brother.

"A-am I dying, P-Phil?" Dan's eyes softened and he looked like a scared puppy as he looked up at the man.

"No, I...I just need you to calm down. Can you take a deep breath for me?" Phil asked in a light and gentle voice.

Dan nodded, the worried and fearful expression not leaving his face. He opened his mouth and tried to suck in a breath of air but a cough cut him off, sending the boy back into a frenzy, "I-I can't b-breath." He yelled, tears pouring from his cocoa orbs, "I-I...I'm s-so s-s-scared, P-Phil, w-w-what's h-happening?" His tone got louder as the sentence progressed.

He stood up again and pulled at the collar of his shirt, "I-It's r-really hot in here."

Phil looked out of the window at rainy Manchester and then down to his flannel pajamas, "No it's not, are you running a fever maybe?" Phil questioned. Dan could've just been really sick...after all, it was flu season, "Can you sit back down so I can take your temperature?" He asked, opening a cabinet and grabbing the thermometer. He began walking towards Dan with the tool, mentally crossing his fingers that being sick was the reason for this insanity.

Phil grew extremely concerned when Dan swatted his hand away angrily and groaned, "Get away from me!"

The older of the two backed away slightly only causing Dan's weak knees to buckle and send him to the ground screaming, "D-don't leave me!"

He put his head into his hands and grunted loudly with complete frustration and distress, "Why do I do this to myself?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!"

Was this a joke? Was he acting? It seemed all too weird and crazy to be reality in that moment.

"Dan?" Phil asked but the boy only stood up wearily and clung himself to his chest, crying into it, "Shh...it's okay..." He gave up on trying to get through to him and ran his fingers through his brother's hair instead hoping it'd comfort him.

Phil could practically feel Dan's heart rapidly beating out of his chest, "Please try to relax, for me, Dan? Is there something I can do to help?"

Dan just shook his head and cried harder, "Don't leave me, y-your m-my only f-friend, d-don't leave m-me like everyone e-else."

Phil was so confused but he just nodded and went along with it, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, I pinky promise!" He declared.

Dan let go of Phil and stumbled his way back over to the bed, sitting down and shaking his head with shame. Beads of sweat trickled down from his forehead as his body quivered violently and he brought a shaky hand to his chest.

"I-I st-still f-feel like I-I can't breathe, Phil, h-help m-me." He whimpered, a pit feeling forming in his stomach, "A-And m-my tummy h-hurts."

Phil took a seat next to him and rubbed comforting circles on his back, but Dan shook him away again to stand up for what felt like the hundredth time now.

"I-I don't feel good..." He said in a slurred voice, his body swaying dizzily.

Phil had absolutely no clue of what to do, so he figured he'd treat this as if Dan just was ill and not freaking out. Maybe if he was sane, it'd rub off on the younger boy.

"Come on..." Phil placed his hands onto Dan to help him walk without falling down again, "Let's get you to the toilet."

Dan nodded with glassy eyes. He looked so confused, almost like he didn't remember the previous meltdown and now he was wondering to himself why he was so tense and shaken up. He gulped heavily and let Phil guide him.

The second Phil opened the bathroom door, Dan squirmed out from his grip and crashed in front of the toilet, throwing up and beginning to cry again.

"That's it, I'm calling someone...you need help."

Phil turned to head for the kitchen where the phone was kept, but Dan turned around, his face being absolutely disgusting from being sick.

"Don't g-go!" He cried, "I-I don't w-want to be a-alone."

Phil sighed sympathetically, picking up a washcloth and using it to wipe up the younger boy's face. He then sat down, leaning against the bathtub and peering at Dan with worry.

"I'll just stay here and use my phone. I'm calling your mum." He decided, pulling out the iPhone from his pocket.

It rang for what seemed like a lifetime before someone answered in an irritated tone, "Hello?" She growled.

"Um...Hi Auntie..." He said worriedly, "Do you have a moment?"

"...I suppose." She glanced at the pile of work on her desk, "The quicker the better, though. I'm quite busy."

"Dan really ill...he keeps freaking out and getting really nervous or angry and now he just vomited, but I have no idea of what to do." Phil felt tears now forming in his eyes, "I'm really scared. Is he okay? Does this happen a lot?"

"I'm just as confused as you are, dear." She shook her head slightly, "Why don't you give him some Tylenol and make him lie down for a bit. And tell him his mum says hello as well. I'm afraid I have to go, I have a lot of work to begin. Goodbye, Philip."

Before Phil could continue, the line went out and she had hung up. The ebony haired man groaned, putting his head back and feeling so completely confused and lost as to what to do. He couldn't help but cry. He feared for his friend's heath, for his safety, he feared for if Dan would ever be the same again. He sniffled and wiped his eyes, holding back strangled sobs.

"Phil..." Dan rubbed circles on his back, "Why are you crying?"

Phil couldn't find the words to answer, so he just shrugged and let his emotions flow even longer.

"I...I had an anxiety attack, didn't I?" Dan added, scooting closer to his brother, "Did I flip out and get really sick?"

Phil nodded.

"Please don't worry; those happen occasionally, I can't help it, but they aren't life threatening or anything."

"Occasionally?!" Phil gasped, "How am I supposed to not worry with the thought of that happening again on my mind?! Gosh, Dan, you scared me! Are you okay? Are you sure?"

Dan laughed a little and leaned his head onto Phil's chest, being exhausted from the tantrum he had caused earlier, "I'm fine. I'm use to them...well, not when they're going on, then I feel like I'm a completely different person. It's hard to control my mind, I just get so scared and panicky."

"...do they just happen at random or do things trigger them?" Phil questioned, wanting to be an expert on this subject to he could prevent them as much as possible.

"They're triggered, some smaller than others...like when we were in the car and I got really tense...that was an anxiety attack, not a bad one, but this on the other hand..."

Phil just nodded, "Are you sure you're okay now?"

"Positive." Dan grinned slightly.

"What caused this one?"

Dan shrugged, "I wish I knew...my guess is the fact that I was afraid you'd be mad at me for keeping you."

"Why was that so big, though? Why wasn't it like in the car?"

Dan took a deep breath, "I just really don't want to lose you. You don't know how much your friendship means to me..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Phil looked Dan in the eyes with all of his attention.

"I just..." He paused and braced himself, "...I just had a lot of problems with friends and bullying last year at school, it's really hard for me..." He stopped again and let a few tears drop from his eyes, "It's hard for me to feel content with relationships now..."

"What happened?" Phil's voice was upset; how dare someone ever hurt _his _Dan.

"These guys who I thought were my best friends befriended the popular group at school and decided that I wasn't cool enough for them and instead of just leaving me, they made it an attempt to ruin my life at every given chance."

Phil nodded sadly, "I'm sorry, Dan, but let me just promise you now that what happened for you and those boys will never happen for me and you."

"Thanks." He hugged onto Phil's arm, "And I'm sorry if my antics are a burden on y-"

Phil cut him off though, "Dan...are you seriously going to ask that right now?" He chuckled.

"...um right." Dan made and attempt to deepen his voice and sound like a manly man, "I meant, oh I don't even care, dude." He crossed his arms and put on the best scowl that he could pull.

"OH!" Phil called out jokingly, "So you're some tough guy now, mister?"

"Uh huh." Dan growled.

"Well, I don't think tough guys wear big fuzzy blue dinosaur pajamas." Phil smirked.

"Shut up!" Dan squealed.

Phil responded by tickling the younger boy and sending him into a ball of laughter. He was going to make sure that he'd be able to turn around this seemingly bad day, even if it meant he had to pull out an old trick from when he was seven and wanted something from his older brother, Martin.

"I love you, Phil." Dan said in between giggles.

"Love you too, my little Danosaur."

**Wow...lol, that was longer than I planned! Hopefully you still enjoyed it though as I took a long time researching anxiety attacks for this hahaha :)**

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


	11. Chapter 11

**So, I've set up my own YouTube channel, if you didn't already know. **

**I really don't want to beg and try to force you to check out my channel, but if you did, I'd be extremely thankful, and would of course return the favour. **

**As of now, I only have like 3 miscellaneous videos, but once school ends for summer, I'm going to put up the funnier, more interesting ones. **

**If you subscribe, I can assure you that in a few weeks, you'll be really happy that you did! **

**My channel's name is TheCatsPajamas143 and I don't know what else to say but pleeeeease give it a chance and subscribe if you feel that it's worthy :) **

**Thanks and I apologise if this Author's Note was an annoyance to anyone. **

**Here's my next chapter [^^]**

**Enjoy!**

Later that night, Dan lied in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He tried his best to attempt at getting a decent amount of sleep for once; but it didn't work. Instead his mind wandered and he let his inner thoughts get the best of him. Within an hour, he had ended up in the bathroom, standing over the sink and glaring into the mirror; like he always did. He took a deep breath and placed his hands on his hips.

"Why am I doing this to myself?" He thought, focusing on his reflection.

He took a sleepy hand and began to brush back his fringe a bit; he then studied himself some more, "I don't look terrible like this..."

With a sigh he tousled his hair back to its original form, the slight feeling of self-acceptance he had a few minutes ago dwindling away, "Yes, I do."

That had to be the worst of all of this doubt. Feeling fine one minute and then completely different the next. He never knew which side to believe; he felt as if he were happy it'd just be a lie or a temporary thing. Joy never lasted long and it was never sincere for him. He often wondered what being truly content felt like. He wanted to experience it for himself so badly. Reading about it or seeing it wouldn't suffice. He needed, more than anything, to know what being pleased really was like.

He laughed to himself and shook his head, feeling so stupid for missing this. It was so easy, but he never realised until that moment. If he didn't like Dan Howell, then why couldn't he just ditch him for someone else? If being sporty was popular and wearing certain clothing was too, then he should do that. People would finally except him; he'd be happy.

Dan felt as if he were discovering the most amazing thing. It was so simple. He beamed, feeling like he was so close to finally being okay with himself. He imagined what it'd feel like to have friends, to be noticed, to be liked. It only made him smile even more than earlier, but this time he let out an excited giggle afterwards. It had to be the best plan he had ever came up with; he was taking strides towards the finish line that read "happiness" in big red letters on it. But what he didn't know or wouldn't have figured was that in reality, he was taking 5 giant steps back.

He peered at the time on his phone to see that it was 4AM, but he couldn't sleep with this much enthusiasm on his mind. Instead, he ended up taking a shower, doing his hair and getting ready all before when he would've normally woken up for school. The blow dryer must've been a bit too loud for that earlier, though, as he heard footsteps coming towards his room in the middle of straightening his curls.

"Dan? Are you awake?"

Dan chuckled, "Do I look it?"

"I couldn't tell you if you did." He pointed to his eyes that were free of glasses and contacts, "I meant...you're not sleep walking or anything, right?"

Dan nodded, "Nope, I just couldn't sleep so I decided to get ready instead."

"Oh." Phil yawned, "That's good. Do you mind if I go back to sleep? I'm not feeling too great."

"No, that's fine. I'm okay."

"You sure. I can get up later when it's time to leave if you want so I can drive you. That way you won't have to worry about running into any bullies or anything."

"I'm fine, Phil, I promise. You worry too much!" He rolled his eyes.

"I'm the one who worries to much?" Phil snickered, "I think you've got that mixed up."

"I'm done with being so tense, mate. This is the new me, get used to it." Dan added with a grin.

Phil smiled along with him, "I'm glad, Dan, good for you." He felt relief knowing that Dan was going to try and relax more often and be more positive. He didn't know the half of it, though. What Phil saw as a productive personality tweak wasn't even close to what Dan really had in mind.

The ebony haired man turned to head back to bed only after hearing Dan call out, "Love you, Phil!" behind him. He figured he'd wait to go back to sleep until Dan was out of the house, so he'd know if he was going to be late or not. If were running behind, he'd of course drive him anyways. Phil waited and check his phone to pass time and before he knew it, Dan had skipped into the room, beaming.

"Bye, Phil! See you after school and feel better too, buddy."

Phil sat up and didn't say a word for a minute. He put his phone down and let his usual giggly-tone alter into a more serious and grown up one.

"What do you think you're doing wearing that?" He asked.

"What's wrong with it?" Dan almost gasped.

"Everything!" Phil threw his hands up in the air with frustration, "This isn't what I meant as a 'new you' being good, Dan."

"But this _is_ the new me." Dan pleaded.

"No it's not..." Phil shook his head, sighing.

Dan glanced down at his outfit, "I like it."

"Well I don't and as your legal guardian, I'm not letting you leave the house like that."

**I fear that if I stay up any longer I'll pass out on my keyboard and break my computer, so I'm going to get some rest and add more tomorrow :) **

**Love you guys! Good night!**

**xoxo**

**~EMMALEiGH**


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